Surrounded by Love he Left us.

Quack left us August 20th 2018, he died at home surrounded by his family. Our large animal vet Dr Wendy who also does home euthanasia came to our farm and ended Quack’s life for us.  He had had a good day.  His had lots of treats and even more hugs.  Some of his favorite people, Erin who lives next door and Alex a long time family friend came to visit.  He had known them both his whole life and considered them part of his pack.  He “smiled” at them.  Quack always made this goofy “smile” when he was really happy to see people.  He’d wrap his lips over his teeth and open his mouth really wide.  He did that at his friends when they came in.  Oh it hurts so much that I’ll never see that goofy smile again.  People say, “You will know when its time”.  I can’t say that I truly did know that day, it could have been the next day or later that week.  He was still eating, he could still get outside although it was hard to do that.  He was not comfortable but he was still happy.  I didn’t want to get to a day that he wasn’t happy.  He was a truly happy guy.  He didn’t understand what was happening as his body failed and that confusion was awful to see.  Selfishly I didn’t want to plan his death too far in advance because I didn’t want the sleepless night before day of his end.  The morning of his death I just thought, I’m calling Wendy to see if she can come today and she could.  All day everyone cuddled him. Dr Wendy came and we put a large pee pad under him (hey death is what it is).  Dr Wendy got a needle into his front leg while I held him and then she put him to sleep.  He nodded off in a couple minutes.  Then  after he was deeply asleep she gave him a drug that stopped his heart.  He went peacefully, he just stopped being alive, no obvious pain from that last med.  After he was dead, we carried him out to my car in an emergency stretcher for humans.  The practicality of how to get such a large dog out to the car was easily solved with stretcher. We all carried him out.  Andy and I immediately set off for Cornell with his body so they could do a necropsy and learn what they could about his horrible disease.  Quack was only 5 years old when he died.  He helped gain knowledge about osteosarcoma by participating in a clinical trial at Cornell. I have since gotten his necropsy results back from Cornell.  The cancer had actually metastasized in both lungs.  They were both full of tumors yet he never coughed even once.  He just got weaker.  We thought that was the hypertrophic osteopathy but it likely was that plus all the tumors in his lungs.  Reading the necropsy was hard but also provided some closure. He was in good physical shape when he died, not too thin or too heavy.  Oddly that made me feel good that despite the cancer he was in other ways in good shape.   His necropsy was important to me and to Andy as it allowed Quack to make this last and ultimate contribution to science.  Cornell sent back his ashes in a lovely wooden box. I have the box on our mantel with a wood burned portrait a friend did of Quack.  So many people helped us through this.  People helped with his go fund me page.  We would never have been able to afford his care, it ended up being many thousands of dollars.  People made Quack art, we have the already mentioned wood burned portrait, we have a lovely water color of him, we have an absolutely incredible portrait in colored glass.  They are such treasures to us.  Quack was goofy. He was fierce. He loved his family so much. I hope that research on osteosarcoma ends up finding a better way to help those dogs and people who like Quack,  don’t respond to chemo.  I will never forget him and I hold space for him in my heart forever.

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6 thoughts on “Surrounded by Love he Left us.”

  1. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Quack was a beautiful boy! What a great way to honor his life. Thank you for sharing him with us. You will never forget him, I’m sure.
    Donna

  2. I am so sorry that you lost your boy. He was so very sweet, and I know you miss him tons. What you did and how you did it allowed him to cross with dignity.
    I can only imagine the size wings he has now 🙂 They must be ginormous! And I can picture him with his lips curled up smiling down on you. You gave him a wonderful life 💖💖
    You know your boy will watch over you always. Sending you huge hugs and lots of love. Thank you for coming back to let us know what happened.
    Jackie and Huck💖

  3. With all my heart, I am deeply sorry Quack got his wings. Your dear giant has left the building but his life, his spirit and his legacy will never fade.

    Thank you for doing the necropsy. You are right, he gave science one last gift with that selfless deed, you all did. What a lovely thing to do for people and pets alike.

    If you want to share more about him, we would love that. He was a giant among us and will always be part of this community. Thank you for allowing us to share your journey.

  4. I know this was hard to write between the tears. I know there were a few smiles though, as you recalled so much of what made Quack so special.

    I’d wondered exactly how he got his name. I was always enthralled with his unique-one-of-a-kind mug. I just love, love, love his happy smoochable face.

    You have paid tribute to him sooo beautifully. Quack knew he was loved and adored every single second of every day. And when it came time for him to leave his earth clothes, you gave him a very loving send off in a way that celebrated the essence of who Quaxk is. We shoild sll be so loved!!

    And make no mistake about it, while on this earth, and even as he went on his next journey, QUACK TOUCHED LIVES ON SK MANY LEVELS. And for you to so selflessly thinking of others and what can be learned by Quack’s journey…such a life affirming gift you and Quack have given❤

    And you gave Quack the gift of release at EXACTLY the “right” time. Outwardly, he was doing seemingly “okay”. Inside told a different story….a story that could take a turn for the worse at any moment. With all those tumors, fluid could have built up very, very quickly. So yes, if it had to happen, the best send off at the most perfect time!

    I do hope Quack has sent you a sign. I know he will, so pay attention. I hipo you’ll share it when you can. Snd please share more about Quack when you can…with pictures too!

    We all fell in love with your special boy. Hix life mattrrs❤

    Surrounding you with Quack’s eternal light and bright smile

    Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too

    .

  5. I just wanted to add that I had not seen the previous post to this one. Sorry I wasn’t there to add extra support.

    I do know that, once Quack got to the Bridge, his fur was COMPLETELY filled in! And that back spot that you wanted to see get vigger… not only did it get bigger, but he had two more big ones join that one! He’s so proud of how handsome he looks, he must can’t stop grinning!!😊

  6. Thanks everyone, your support and love for Quack mean the world to me. Quack got his weird named because of a silly joke I made. We got Quack as a puppy for my youngest daughter then 16. She got to pick his name and as a joke I said we should call him Quack because our first dog was Quinn and our second was Jack. Helen my daughter loved that and insisted we really call the pup Quack.

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